Tuesday, October 05, 2023

What every new mother needs to know about boys

Today a friend sent me an email.

In it, was a list of things that boys are known for. Reading them reminded me of all the things about boys I never knew - things a new mother really ought to know!

1. A VCR does not want to suck on a pacifier. In fact, it gets so mad when you try, it won't give it back.

2. A 7 year old picks the only one second silence in the movie theatre to yell, "It's a frog"

3. A lot of toilet paper may flush, but that doesn't mean a whole roll will.

4. The bottle of Mommy's professional hair salon shampoo is not bubble bath.

5. A bottle of hair conditioner doesn't make bubble bath; but it really makes you slippery!

6. One towel may dry you okay after a bath, but 10 is a whole lot better.

7. Telling your child to "get dressed and ready to go bye-bye" apparently means to just put on your underwear and a coat.

8. No matter how much Elmer's glue you put on a dog, it still won't stick to the fence.

9. The fort platform on the swing set makes a great place to see how far you can pee and what you can hit.

10. There is no such thing as "too loud"

11. "picking up" your room means to shove everything under the bunk bed

12. 23 cents will not buy you a hot wheels car no matter how you arrange it.

13. Pennies shoved in the steering wheel of a car make a rattling noise while driving - and honk the horn when the air is humid.

14. People don't understand why you honk around every corner.

15. A laundry basket is a great place to sleep.

16. A cardboard box provides 100 hours more entertainment than the latest toy.

17. You can dig A LOT of holes in a back yard

18. No matter how long you fill your hole with water, it still won't become a swimming pool.

19. "Water the dog" means to give the dog a bath.

20. The police department REALLY shows up at your door when your child hits the "911" memory dial button without hanging up the receiver.

Laura Bankston is author of Internationally selling Cooking with Kids Curriculum: “Homeschool Cooking in a Box� and the “Homeschool Cookbook�. She currently home schools her three children, maintains home school support websites, and manages their family-owned service business. For information on her curriculum and free home school support services, please visit http://www.homeschoolcookbook.com

Copyright 2004, Abundant Learning Publications. All Rights Reserved.

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Anonymous said...

Dear Laura,
As the mother of three sons and a daughter I find that your list is fantastic and reminding me of the younger years when my oldest aged ALMOST 12 years , was about 7 and the youngest boy was just a year old. Wow.. And so you know.. laundry baskets also make great forts for a four year old princess who is actually disguising herself to lure the knights over and whack them with the paper towel roll.
Thank you so much Laura. Aloha to you and God bless ya. Kisha

9:47 PM  

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